"AKU"

aku saat ini hidup dikehidupan yang rumit. aku tidak tahu harus berbuat apa dan bagaimana. aku merasa aku tersesat. aku salah arah. masalah kini selalu membayangiku. aku hanyalah seonggok realita yang menyedihkan. aku egois. salahku menggunung. aku biasanya tidak seperti ini. apa yang salah denganku? aku di masa lalu hidup dalam ketenangan. aku mengerti kerasnya kehidupan. aku bisa melaluinya. aku bebas dari segala masalah yang membebani mental dan fisikku. aku senang berbagi. aku bahagia atas hidup yang aku jalani. aku bersama siapapun. aku terbiasa dengan kebahagiaan. aku jauh dari kesedihan. apakah aku benar?

List of Things to Bring Camping

- Edible Rope - Water-proof fire - A ‘frompass’, a compass that tells you where you’re from - Fold-up guitar - Freeze dried hemp necklace - Titanium money clip - 100 mules - A murdering kit - A ‘spent’, a spoon that’s also a tent - A lighter lighter, to start fires and reduce weight - Dry martini, in a to-go mug List Dialy

itu dirimu. bukan diriku. cara kita berbeda. jalan pikir kita berbeda. apapun tentang kita berbeda. tidak lebih baik dirimu lantas pergi atas semua yang telah terjadi? pergi tinggalkan bayang-bayangku. dia milikku. aku memiliki kebahagiaanku tersendiri. yang orang bilang tidak pasti. tapi untukku itu takkan terganti. terima kasih atas segalanya.

watch !

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

-- Frank Outlaw

those were yesterday's feelings

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't ?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't ?
You fall deeper with each passing day,
But try to hide it in every possible way.
He's only a friend, and nothing else
That's the lie you keeping telling yourself.
You keep on saying he's just a bud,
But deep inside, you're falling in love.
You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
But keep reminding yourself it isn't right.
A simple glance turns into a stare,
But you pretned that you don't care.
It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see ?
But how long will you pretend ?
Keep lying that he's just a friend ?
Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
So being his girl is an impossible wish ...

Rihanna - Cry

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truely
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

Did it happen when we first kissed
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I shoulda never let you hold me baby
Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart

My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

How did I get here with you, i'll never know
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted, I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry

All my life...

all you need is to be alone

sometimes we need to be alone

kadang ada saatnya dimana kita membutuhkan waktu khusus untuk diri kita sendiri. bagaimana kita bisa menenangkat hati, menjernihkan pikiran serta mengontrol emosi.
adakalanya kita memberikan waktu yang spesial untuk diri kita secara mandiri menganalisa keadaan yang sedang terjadi. dan yakinlah bahwa diri kita juga bisa ..

Komunikasi Dept' 2011 UNDIP, kelas 07

"kesederhanaan kalian mengajarkanku banyak hal"

I found the right environment for me. I found many things that I have not known before.

togetherness is gold

with them I could feel the beauty of friendships in a simple yet very valuable to me. with them I feel the same when I was in high school.
there is no difference, that there's only unity, solidarity, togetherness and intimacy.
although we have not even half a year together but we can make friends well.
they are very good to me, they care about, even they are easy to blend with although I was not a group with them.

thank you guys, friends in class communication 07.
continue to keep our unity up !

being split or being separated ?

rich as the minority and the simple as majority. but why just the minority that always seem too over dominate ? why minorities can not blend with the majority. when in fact they possessed a very high adaptability. why did they split ? why the majority separating them ?
we actually looked them as a group that is always has a negative nuance. when in fact based on research results, not all people for this assumption is true. because although they are accustomed to living with negative life but they have things we can learn from them.
minority upholds the unity and cohesiveness. but not so the case with the majority of the minority that in fact it was too much.
honestly i've been confused by speculation of people. even on their own speculations. but really I do not agree with their lifestyle and ideology.

a little love feelin' like a big miracle

namanya Doni Setyadi. waktu itu kelas X. di depan kelas, dia asik ngobrol sama temen-temennya. keliatannya pendiem. kalo diperhatiin dia manis, dewasa, sabar. muka sabarnya mengalihkan dunia, lebih tepatnya pandangan mata. masih biasa aja. ini di kelas XI. oke gue duduk sebangku sama gebetannya. dan waktu itu gue juga lagi dalam masa pendekatan. tapi gue memutuskan untuk tidak lagi melanjutkan. gue sahabatan sama gebetannya. dia sahabat baik gue sampai saat ini. di tangga, gak sengaja ketemu Doni sama dia. kesempatan bagus buat ngecengin. oke dia tau nama gue Ichan. ternyata gue sakit DBD. gak masuk sampai seminggu. dia nyariin gue. iya karena gue terkenal paling rusuh, gak mau diem, dan begitulah layaknya anak cacingan. lorong kelas ga dihiasin lagi sama teplekan sendal hotel gue. sampe akhirnya gue tau Doni udah punya pacar. masih biasa aja ...(jeda)


sekarang kelas XII. papan pengumuman nunjukkin nama gue dan ........... nama Doni. masih biasa aja. hari pertama masuk kelas. dia duduk di belakang gue. masih biasa aja. dia ulang tahun. disuruh maju nyanyi ke depan kelas. gue ikut cengin. lama-lama jadi temen akrab. lambat laun jadi sahabat. sahabat berbagi suka duka. sahabat yang selalu ada. sahabat yang bisa mengerti segalanya. sampe akhirnya kita sepenasiban. kita ada di situasi yang sama, di kondisi yang sama, di posisi yang sama. perpisahan sekolah. gue single dia taken. terima kasih karena udah nganterin pulang gue sama Icha. sampe akhirnya kita memutuskan untuk mengakhiri situasi complicated itu. kita bebas. masih biasa aja ...(jeda)

liburan. kelas gue berencana ke Villa di puncak. sebelumnya belanja persediaan makanan dulu. gue lagi gak mood hari itu. dia balikin mood gue. dia jemput gue ke rumah pas berangkat cap 3 jari dan sekalian belanja. di mobil gue disambut senyum yang manis, lembut dan penuh kasih sayang. mulai ada rasa. udah di mall. gue sama dia jalan berdua terus. dan gue yakin temen-temen yang ikut saat itu tau. dia nawarin gue cokelat. tapi gue tolak, karena gue pikir dia bercanda. makan siang. selesai makan dia masih keukeuh nanya gue mau coklat apa gak. akhirnya gue mengiyakan. diem-diem pergi dari temen-temen. main game basket. jalannya berdua terus. pulang belanja di mobil dia cubit pipi gue. semakin ada rasa ... (jeda)

sebelum berangkat ke Villa gue ketemu Doni. gue salim cium tangan sama kaya yang biasa gue lakukan ke orang-orang yang gue sayang. gue tau dia bukan siapa-siapa gue. di Villa. gue semakin dan semakin ada rasa sama Doni. dia anter gue ganti galon air naik motor malem-malem berdua. dan yang lebih bikin gue berharap waktu dia pegang tangan gue di bawah selimut pas kita duduk sebelahan di sofa karena kedinginan. gue sayang Doni. semoga Doni juga ngerasa sama kaya yang gue rasa ... (jeda

beberapa hari berlalu. anter Doni daftar ulang ke kampusnya bareng kakaknya dan Hilda. setelahnya nonton Scream. Doni gandeng tangan gue di depan umum. padahal kita masih belum jadian. gue sayang sama Doni ... (jeda)

sekarang tanggal 22 Juni 2011.
Doni dateng ke rumah. pake tas selempang yang biasa dipake waktu sekolah. mau kemana ya ?. ngobrol banyak. gue semakin nyaman sama Doni. obrolan kita nyambung. punya selera humor yang sama dan ......... dia minta gue buat taro HP yang gue pegang. dia minta gue serius dan tatap matanya. dia keluarin sebucket bunga mawar sama boneka couple bear dan semua warna pink. meskipun ada 2 mawar yang putih. dia nyatain perasaannya sama gue. gue speechless. gue gak tau harus bilang apa. harus berekspresi kaya gimana. cuma bisa bilang iya dan meluk dia erat-erat. cinta gue gak bertepuk sebelah tangan. Doni sayang sama gue. begitupun juga gue ... (jeda)

sekarang bulan september. gue kuliah di jawa tengah dan dia di bogor. kita harus LDR. hubungan kita masih seumur jagung dan udah di haruskan LDR. baru pertama seumur hidup gue sama Doni jalanin LDR. semua masih baik-baik aja awalnya. tengahnya. cuma ada konflik kecil-kecil yang alhamdulillah bisa diselesaikan. masalah terbesarnya cuma kangen ... (jeda)

sekarang 4 bulan LDR. cinta gue sama dia ga pudar. dan begitupun dia. kita baik-baik aja. dan berencana sampe ke tahap selanjutnya. amin.

Doni. ya cuma Doni. cowok satu-satunya yang gue kenal yang gue rasa semua tentang dia mendekati kata sempurna. dia selalu jaga hatinya buat gue. dia yang selalu ada buat gue. orang kedua setelah orang tua gue. dia selalu ada buat gue. dalam keadaan apapun gue. dia selalu setia dampingin gue. gue belajar dewasa dari Doni. belajar keluar dari sifat kekanak-kanakan gue. belajar kenal cinta sejati dari Doni.

Doni. aku sayang kamu ...

selesai

would you be me ?

it's not that easy to be me. it's completely complicated and truly do you understand it ?
i don't know what's on their mind, what they've judge, everything about me glad they talk to. what a rough world, doesn't it ?
i just want they know what would be happen if they're in my position. would be they feel the same ? feel the pain and the injustice ?think that world is unfair ?
yes they arbitrarily ruled, requires us to do as they wish.
can you stop chiding behind me ?
behave like a mature used to, please.

Kristen Stewart's street style

Kristen Stewart's amazing side

she's the one of 10 Higherst Paid Hollywood Actresses in 2010-2011
Recent Earnings : $12 million
April 9, 1990 born, Twilight series,The Runaways actress has won MTV Movie Award, Teen Choice Award, Young Artist Award

of EMMA

source : weheartit.com

don’t believe all you hear
there’re devils in disguise
don’t let anyone crush your dreams
your hands can touch the sky
speak the truth and be sincere
let God be your guide
trust your heart don’t feed your fears
and love will never die

Anggun - Year of the Snake

Anggun C. Sasmi - Always You

Went from the east to the west
With stories to erase
From my heart, my fingers and my face
I’ve tried my very best
No matter wherever I am
There’s nothing I can do
Cause my love has only one name
And it’s you

I believe that some things are destined
They’re meant to happen
I believe that my heart had choosen
The one in a million
I’ve opened all doors and all access
For you to get into
Now this heart is cold and it’s homeless
Because of you
Memories forced me to remember
To safe love from anger
I can’t stop myself but to wonder
Wished I had been better
Counting the time that I’ve wasted
Over someone new
Cause one thing that I ever wanted
Is only you
It’s only a matter of time
I know soon I will find
That feeling so close to devine
Someone I can call mine
But silence is pounding in my head
Hit me through and through
What everything fails to forget
Is always you

explain what i can't explain

Astagfirullahaladzim ..

gelas itu perlahan retak, semakin retak sampai akhirnya pecah
dari sekian banyak asumsi yang gue dapet, gue cuma bisa senyum nanggepinnya. dan gue cuma bisa banyak-banyak istigfar. berharap semua bukan cuma omong kosong. berharap semuanya segera berakhir. tamat
dari semenjak gue udah ga ada apa-apa lagi. mulai dari itu juga gue udah ga mau peduli, ga mau berurusan dan ga mau menjudge seseorang. meskipun gue bisa aja menilai apapun. sayangnya ...

gue ga semudah berspekulasi kaya yang mereka utarakan

gue udah bener-bener muak sama semua ini. entah itu gue atau siapapun yang hypocrite. gue ga peduli.

yang berlalu biarlah berlalu, biar menjadi kenangan terindah dan terpahit dalam hidup

"untuk apa kita hidup kalau hanya ingin mencari banyak musuh ?". "untuk apa kita hidup di dunia ini hanya untuk memelihara kebencian ?". "untuk apa kita hidup di dunia ini hanya untuk saling menjatuhkan ?"
sedangkan pada kenyataannya kita tidak seperti yang mereka katakan.

buktikan !

untuk apa mencecap manisnya kata-kata mereka yang sebetulnya kita sendiri ga tau kebenarannya. fakta memberi bukti bukan bullshit.

gue ya gue, lo ya lo, mereka ya mereka

buat apalagi sih ? judge is the most hurt thing ever. kalo ada yang menjudge lo, bahkan sekarang perlahan orang-orang ga mau menjalin relasi sama lo kalo ga alakadarnya. sekarang ? pada kenyataannya masih banyak yang mau dan berniat menjalin relasi dengan baik sama lo. untuk apa gue bersahabat dengan omong kosong ? judge ?

this is mine, not yours

semua status networking TIDAK hanya tertuju pada anda. semua berhak menulis apapun dalam status. cacian, pujian, apa yang di rasakan, sedang berada dimana, dan lain sebagainya. biar orang lain yang bisa menilai bagaimana kita. kenapa ada yang harus tersinggung. padahal memang bukan tertuju dan bukan untuk anda ? kenapa harus ada yang sakit hati ? padahal memang dalam hidup ini ada berbagai hal yang memang sangat menyebalkan. anda merasakah salah satunya ?

dunia ini semakin membuat gila para penghuninya. bukan dunianya, tapi kehidupannya

life must go on. untuk apa lagi menyesali apa yang telah terjadi. berlalu biarkan saja berlalu. dan suatu ketika atau bahkan kelak entah apa yang Tuhan rencanakan bisa saja kita bertemu kembali. Tuhan ingin kita menata apa saja yang salah. Roda kehidupan boleh terus berputar, di samping itu kita lah yang mengimbangi putarannya. kita benahi apa yang justru membuat hidup kita terasa berantakan. menata kembali hal-hal kecil yang membuat hidup kita menyedihkan menjadi membahagiakan.

sudahi semua

saatnya untuk move on. gue, lo, dia, mereka dan kalian juga udah cukup lelah. udah saatnya mengendkan apa yang telah diawali. sudahi semua dengan kedamaian. buang benci maupun dendam. tanam cinta dan kasih sayang. kita punya kehidupan masing-masing. peduli ga peduli, lo masih sahabat gue.

i'm not a hypocrite

-the end-

pig squealing ..

teh hangat

malam ini ia duduk di depan cafe hitam nan sepi hanya untuk memesan segelas teh hangat

gue rasa kehidupan makin menampakkan ketidak adilannya aja. jujur, sampai saat ini pun gue bingung harus berekspresi dan harus merasakan apa

gue mau nulis ... apa yang harus gue tulis ?
gu mau nangis ... apa yang harus gue tangisin ?
gue mau curhat ... gue masih bisa pendem sendiri
gue move on ... kenyataannya gue pasang surut

meskipun banyak orang di sekitar gue tapi kenapa selama ini gue ga pernah merasakan adanya mereka. cuma fisiknya
(tarik nafas panjang). gue salah gak ya bilang kaya gini ? gue rasa gak deh. kan gue yang merasakan, bukan dia, mereka atau kalian

setidaknya pasti dalam hidup there's something special. me ? nothing!
sampai akhirnya hidup gue terasa berbeda waktu gue temuikan cinta. gue pikir gue bukan tipe melankolis.

they said : hidup lo menyedihkan chan. lo punya semuanya tapi lo ga bahagia

mereka bener ..

sekarang gue cuma bisa nikmatin hidup menyedihkan gue ditemenin secangkir teh hangat, lampu kota sama hujan. dan sampai kapanpun gue akan cari dimana gue bisa dapetin suatu hal terbesar di hidup gue : kebahagiaan

Yellow - Coldplay

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah they were all yellow

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh all the things I’ve done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D’you know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh all the things you do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D’you know for you i bleed myself dry
For you i bleed myself dry
*Find More lyrics at www.Lagunya.com
Its true look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine for you
look how they shine
look at the stars look how they shine for you

best acoustic singer ever :)

Secondhand Serenade (all songs)
Boyce Avenue (all songs)
Balance Problems ( A Ring Around The Moon)
Lifehouse (all songs)
Rise Against (Swing Life Away)
Annuals (Springtime)
Parachutes (all songs)
One Republic (all songs)
Paramore (Misguided Ghost)
Bullet For My Valentine (Say Goodnight Acoustic)
Adhitia Sofyan (Adelaide Sky)
From First to Last (Emily)
Ke$ha (Goodbye)
Plain White T's (Hey There Delilah)
The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Your Guardian Angel)
The Early November (Ever So Sweet)
The Almost (Dirty and Left Out)

A Ring Around The Moon - Balance Problems

i was in a state
around the house
constant disarray
of my thoughts

waiting for a flight
to clear my head
always at my best when i arrive

holiday parade
we laugh, it rains
covered with our hoods
i shield my face

fragile china piece around your neck
celebration drinks
my shirts a wreck

its quiet here
and i have learned to breathe
rest easily
i promise not to leave

the cold has not quite left
your home just yet
artificial heat does its best

mystery of light
prevails tonight
a ring around the moon; we cant decide

in symphony
the earth is turning green
just dirt beneath
no worries at our feet
in symphony
we laugh with all we see
just dirt beneath
no worries at our feet

pacing around
your floor cant be found
clothes on the ground
pacing around

Teenage Dream - Boyce Avenue

I think you're pretty
Without any makeup on
I think you're funny
When you tell the punchline wrong
I knew you got me
So you let your walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was alright, but things
Were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

When you're around me,
Life's like a movie scene
I wasn't happy,
Until you became my queen
I finally found you,
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's just talk all through the night
There's no need to rush
We can dance, until we die
You and I, will be young forever

You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a

Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
If that's what you need,
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me,
If that's what you need,
In this teenage dream tonight, tonight, tonight
Tonight

Yoooouuu
You make me feel
Like I'm livin' a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

And my heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and
Don't ever look back,
Don't ever look back

I'mma get your heart racing
If that's what you need,
In this teenage dream tonight
Let you rest your head on me,
If that's what you need,
In this teenage dream tonight, tonight, tonight

Only Girl - Boyce Avenue

I'm gonna love you, when our time is right
Be thinking of you, everyday and every night

To think you're somewhere in this world
and someday I will make you my wife
So everyday we're not together
I hope you know that you'll be alright
Cuz I....

I'm gonna make you feel, like you're the only girl in the world
Like you're the only one that I'll ever love
Like you're the only one who knows my heart

Like you're the only that's in command
Cuz you're the only one who understands
How to make me feel like a man

And when you're lonely, I'll keep you company
I just want us only, made for you and me
And when it doesn't feel right with another, I hope you believe

That in a world with no light, I will be all that you need...to see

I'm gonna make you feel, like you're the only girl in the world
Like you're the only one that I'll ever love
Like you're the only one who knows my heart

Like you're the only that's in command
Cuz you're the only one who understands
How to make me feel like a man

BARCAWESOME !!

what's love in my definition

aku mulai memikirkan bagaimana seharusnya menyusun berjuta kata untuk menjadi satu kesatuan paragraf yang padu dan menarik untuk dibaca. aku mulai memutar otak untuk mencari apa yang harus aku tulis. aku memang bukan seorang jurnalis, tapi aku rasa tidak ada salahnya seorang amatir sepertiku membuat satu hal baru yang mungkin kau bahkan aku tidak menduga sebelumnya. aku kini berargumen, setiap orang berhak atas hal itu.
aku tertarik akan satu hal yang mungkin kalian anggap terlalu 'dikenal' dan terlalu familiar. aku yakin anak kecilpun tau apa itu ... Cinta
aku memang bukanlah seorang pecinta yang baik, aku hanya newbie dalam hal ini. tapi kini aku mengerti meskipun aku tidak tahu detail dari konsep cinta itu sendiri. bahasan cinta tak akan pernah habis sepertinya.
menurutku, cinta adalah sesuatu yang tidak dapat di pungkiri keberadaannya dan semua orang mengharapkan cinta. itu pasti. 'hampir' semua makhluk mengharapkan itu. begitupun aku. mungkin aku terlalu menharapkan cinta seperti yang ada di film. 'sangat di sayangkan' aku cepat menyadarinya. itu hanya dalam film. realitanya ?
betapa bahagianya ketika kau mendapatkan seseorang yang amat sangat mencintaimu, tidak akan pernah membiarkanmu meninggalkan dirinya dan ia hanya ingin denganmu sampai akhirnya waktu lah yang memisahkan. semua orang mengharapkan itu bukan ? bahkan dirimu ?.
cinta itu butuh keteraturan.
entah apa yang ada di benakku ketikan aku berspekulasi cinta itu harus teratur. bayangkan saja (aku rasa kau pernah mengalaminya) ketika kau atau dirinya berada dalam situasi atau kondisi yang membuat kalian lupa akan 'aku telah mendampingi dirinya'. kau asyik dengan pekerjaanmu, tugasmu, apapun yang kau kerjakan dan itu sangat menarik perhatianmu. begitu juga dengan dirinya. ingatkah kalian saat pertama kalian berkomitmen (aku rasa ini adalah rajukan) 'aku akan selalu ada untukmu'. bagaimana bisa kau selalu ada untuknya dengan kau sibuk dengan urusanmu sendiri. kau boleh asyik bercengkrama dengan pekerjaanmu, tapi kau harus ingat. kau punya seseorang yang berarti dalam hidupmu. bertanggung jawablah karena kau yang telah memilih dirinya.
cinta itu butuh kejujuran.
kebohongan adalah salah satu faktor dominan yang paling sering kau lakukan. baik itu untuk kebaikanmu atau kau hanya mencari alibimu. mulutmu boleh berkata lain. hatimu ? biar kutebak, kau dengan mudahnya berbohong padanya dan hatimu ... kau bilang hatimu juga tidak berbohong ? kau berbohong ! untuk apa kau menjadikannya pendampingmu ? untuk kesenangan ? demi meraih status ? demi pembalasan dendam ? demi pelampiasan ? belajarlah bersikap dewasa dan berpikirlah jernih. untuk apa kau rela mengorbankan waktumu dan pulsamu hanya untuk kebohongan ? berpikirlah.
cinta itu timbal balik.
ibuku pernah berkata 'cinta adalah ketika kau dan dirinya saling mencintai dan apabila hanya kau atau dirinya yang mencintai, semua akan terasa percuma'. aku bangga pada ibuku. beliau tahu apa yang selalu membuatku merasa G6. cinta membutuhkan timbal balik. symbiosis mutualism. aku mempelajarinya di kelas biologi. kau membutuhkan dirinya sama halnya seperti dia membutuhkanmu. saling membutuhkan dalam berbagai hal. aku rasa tak ada seorangpun yang ingin dirugikan. sama halnya dengan cinta.
cinta itu saling berhubungan.
percuma saja, kau menjalin cinta tanpa adanya koneksi. itukah yang kau artikan cinta ?
cinta itu saling pengertian.
dalam hal ini aku akan membahas tentang 'cemburu'. ah, knteks ini amat sangat menjenuhkan bukan ?. tapi harus aku akui, aku berterima kasih pada cemburu ini. karena apa ? kau bisa menilai pasanganmu mencintaimu atau tidak dari cemburu ini. kau tahu maksudku, jika ia cemburu padamu saat kau bersama yang lain (dalam arti kau terlalu dekat. ingat ! bukan sahabatmu) dia mencintaimu dan dia akan sekeras mungkin berusaha membuatmu nyaman berada di dekatnya tanpa harus dirimu dengan orang lain.
mungkin cinta sendiri tidak dapat di definisikan hanya segelintir saja. kau yang merasakan, dan kau yang akan mendefinisikannya sendiri.
raihlah cinta abadimu, bukan cinta sejatimu. karena cinta abadi akan membawamu dan dirinya sampai di surga. amin

'kemarin, hari ini, dan esok'

today ..
matahari lebih terik dari yang biasanya. mungkin matahari sedang mood untuk menghangatkan bumi, bahkan membuatnya panas. dan aku rasa dia tidak peduli mungkin makhluk bumi merasa kepanasan. sama halnya seperti aku yang mulai mendidih. aku seolah berada di tingkat maksimum yang dengan temperatur yang membuat air raksa pada termometer juga ikut memanas dan BOOOOM !
mungkin aku tidak harus menceritakan aku kenapa, tapi aku yakin mereka sudah tau. rutinitas yang hampir selama 4 bulan ini aku lakukan. gamang. haruskah aku mem-bold atau meng-italic nya ? aku rasa tidak perlu, kau tahu apa yang aku maksud.
aku mulai berpikir, untuk apa aku memberikannya dengan percuma, tanpa syarat tertentu atau bahkan aku dengan 'amat mudahnya'. aku tidak pernah bernada menyesal atau bahkan ingin memutar waktu. tidak, aku tidak menginginkan sesuatu yang tidak logis. dan aku tahu hanya Tuhan lah yang berkehendak, mem-previous dan me-next waktu.
aku mendedikasikan waktuku, tapi aku berharap dedikasiku tidak terbuang percuma. aku tidak berspekulasi tentang sesuatu yang belum aku tahu sepenuhnya, aku lebih memilih untuk berdiam diri, mengunci mulutku rapat-rapat dan ...... tidur, memejamkan mataku, pergi ke alam mimpi yang fiksi, penuh imajinasi dan khayalan
Tuhan tahu apa yang terjadi pad hidupku dan aku yakin hanya Dia-lah yang tahu apa yang akan terjadi pada hidupku
kau tahu maksudku ...

Lesson In Life

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s okay to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s okay to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: “In five years, will this matter?”

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

41. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don’t ask, you don’t get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.

GF: Why do you love me?
BF: I have no reason.

GF didnt like it and say

GF: No. Give me a reason.
BF: Okay. ‘Coz you’re beautiful, caring and attractive.

Girl was satisfied, then one day she got sick and look terribly thin, pale and weak..

GF: Do you still love me?
BF: Now that you’re not pretty and attractive do i have a reason to love you?

Girl Cried.. The boy hold her hand and say..

BF: Now you understand?

“Love doesn’t need reasons. I love you and still love you no matter what happens.”

what mom always said

don’t cry you will find the perfect prince charming
you have to have a lot of unperfects before you find mr.perfect who will never let you go. so don’t cry you will find him, but it will take time so look at each heartbreak as one more heartbreak till you find him

The greatest is knowing that i don’t have to be right. I’ve been ashamed and am still ashamed of things i’ve felt. Hate, jealousy, lust, fear, pride, self consciousness, pure anger, pity, just plain hurt

- Hayley

this is my L I F E

Today my life changed.
Today my life got a meaning.
it just came straight to me.
It’s not the 80’s anymore. Life changed, life got harder. We’ve got so much more to worry about. Pollution, clear water, fossil fuels and I could go on for a long time
But there is one thing that shocked me the most.
I’ve got not too much time left. Who knows when but probably really soon, we will all be gone
There was so much chances I didn’t take. So much things I didn’t experience. So I decided to start to live my life. Not working only on my problems but also see the good things in my life. Because I have a lot. I just never take them in count. Till know.
From tomorrow, I’ll start to live ! Enjoy, Love, Laugh, Learn all together: LIVE!!
Don’t waste your life! We have not too much time left to waste

i'm the one

One day you will realize i always loved you,and the ONE who really cared about us,was me.That when our problems broke us down, i was the ONE who had to build us back up.Even so you will realize you always hurt me just to test our love,but i was the ONE who always proved it.That everytime i use to be the ONE to put out my hand for you to hold,you should of graped it.That i was the ONE who believed you,even though you would lie to me right to my face.You will realize you was the ONE who gave up on us,and stop holding on to our hopeful forever.But until that ONE day comes

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it

- Mother Teresa (via quote-book)

Not every body has to love me or even like me. I don’t necessarily like everybody I know, so why should everybody else like me ? I enjoy being like and being loved, but if somebody doesn’t like me I will still be okay and still feel like I am an okay person. I cannot make somebody like me any more than someone can get me to like them. I don’t need approval all the time. If someone does not approve me, I will still be okay :)

Tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusted death. Out, out, brief candle,
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a take
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
Signidying nothing

- William Shakespeare, Macbeth, (V, v, 18-27)

mom and her daughter

in my bedroom
mom: kusut amat itu muka ?
me: yang penting masih cantik hahahha kan kaya ibu eyaaa eyaaa
mom: hahaha iya kita kan cantik ya, lagi kenapa hayoooo ?
me: anak muda lebih banyak meluangkan waktu mereka untuk menggalau
mom: dasar, galau melulu. klo cewe galau pasti gara-gara cowo, klo cowo galau gara-gara kalah taruhan bola hahahahhaha intensitas galaunya cewe lebih banyak ya dibanding cowo
me: hastaaaaaaga. demi apapun deh ibu (-____-")
mom: handphone sepi ya ? uuuuuuu kaciaaaan. sini-sini ibu aja yang sms biar ga sepi
me: jhahahahhaha ogah ah, ibu kan lagi dekat di mata ......
mom: dan dekat di hati *nyengir
me: deal ! :)
mom: Ya Allah, berikan anakku sosok yang bisa membuatnya terhibur, bisa membuatnya bahagia, dan yang bisa menyempurnakan hidupnya di dunia dan di akhirat. berikan ia yang terbaik Ya Rabb
me: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin ILYSM ibu :)
mom: ibu juga. eh ibu ngantuk nih. bobo yuk
me: aku juga ngantuk. have a nice dream mom :)
(actually i hope HE is what my mom pray for)

i don't know this is fake or true

Hey guys,

Let me start by apologizing to you for the way everything went down on Saturday. I had a statement typed ready to post to you guys but Hayley released one without my permission. We were not going to issue a statement until we worked out our exit agreement with Hayley. I wish it didn’t have to happen that way, Zac and I wanted to be the ones you heard it from. I want to be honest with you guys about how this band formulated from day one. I did not think Hayley’s version told the whole story, at least from our perspective and hopefully this will explain a bit about why we are leaving.

Zac and I had a garage band in high school with the intentions of just making music for the love of it. We met Taylor and our friend Jason Clark at our school and found out that we shared the same musical tastes. So, we asked them to join our band. It was some of the greatest times of our lives playing music in Taylor’s basement with them. We obviously needed a lead singer and one day Zac met Hayley. We asked her to come try out and eventually to join the band.

Months down the road things changed and this band became all about Hayley. She had a manager at the time that controlled her every move along with her parents. They didn’t like the idea of Hayley being in a rock band so they forced her to leave wanting her to pursue a solo career.

Hayley went off to write and record her solo demos while the four of us continued on without her. A couple of months later Hayley came and asked us if she could use the song “Conspiracy” that we had all previously written together. We agreed that that would be fine. I got a call a while after that from Hayley telling me that her manager said that Zac and I were invited to be back in the band (the band we started), but not Taylor and Jason because they weren’t good enough in his eyes. Hayley brought in Jeremy and our first rhythm guitarist Jason Bynum as the other two members.

We travelled to LA a few weeks later for a showcase and it was a nightmare. Hayley’s manager would tell the band to be in the lobby of the hotel at a certain time, but he and Hayley wouldn’t show for hours. We found out that they had been meeting with record label executives all morning without us, which is totally weird given that this wasn’t simply a solo artist, but we were a band. The band was in the dark the whole time. After many meetings between Hayley, her manager and the labels they decided to sign her to Atlantic records. We didn’t understand why Hayley was the only one signing the contract since we were told this was a “band”, but we were too young to grasp all of this. So far, Zac and I haven’t signed with another label, although I guess our part of Paramore sure could. Next thing we knew we were having a signing party for Hayley.

Our next move was to rerecord her solo demos with our own music rather than studio musicians to make it sound more genuine. Meanwhile, we tossed around band names. I wrote out a list of names, including “Paramore”, a name my old band with Taylor and Jason Clark had thought about using. Obviously, we settled on that name. The label received the rerecorded demos and once again tried to fire the entire band, saying we were terrible. Thankfully Hayley and I had been writing some new songs together (Hallelujah, Here We Go Again) that the label was pleased with so that acted as leverage for the band to stay. The label and management then decided to build our band up the grass-roots route. They put Hayley on Fueled by Ramen not making it known she was signed to Atlantic as well. All the while we still questioned whether or not we were an actual band, but Hayley continued to insist we were, despite our being ignored and pushed around by the label.

They then sent us all to Orlando to rehearse and write eight hours a day for our first record. Half -way though this process, Jeremy decided to quit. We were all really upset about it. So we finished the record, replaced Jeremy, and hit the road with Hayley’s father as our tour manager/driver of a twelve-passenger van. Her dad would constantly threaten to “pull the plug” on the whole band if we complained about anything, suggesting that we were hired guns and Hayley was the real artist, when in reality we were also part of the band. We’ve always been treated as less important than Hayley. It’s been obvious how her family views things.

Jeremy ended up rejoining and we toured non-stop for two and half years building our fan base, pretending to be a band that started naturally. In reality, what started as natural somehow morphed into a manufactured product of a major label, riding on the coattails of “Hayley’s dream.”

Before recording our next record, we kicked out Jeremy for his lack of work ethic and participation in things that Zac, Hayley and I didn’t agree with. At this point it was just the three of us to record Riot. Once the record was done, we needed a bassist and another guitarist. Eventually Zac and I convinced Hayley to let Taylor rejoin and she convinced us to let Jeremy back in, promising he had changed his ways.

Once again we hit the road and toured on our biggest record as a band. As you all know Hayley and I dated and broke up during this album cycle. Things then started going downhill for our band. Hayley and Jeremy’s views started changing from what we all once believed in. The band almost split after cancelling a tour in Europe, but we managed to keep it together somehow. This is when Zac and I started to consider quitting the band.

Once we finished touring on Riot, we came home for a break and started writing for Brand New Eyes. Hayley presented lyrics to us that were really negative and we didn’t agree with. For example, “the truth never set me free”, which contradicts what the Bible says in John 8:32 (“and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall sat you free”). We fought her about how her lyrics misrepresented our band and what we stood for, but in the end she got her way. Instead of fighting her any longer, we decided to just roll over and let it go.

Hayley claimed that this record reunited us as band and made us grow closer together, when in reality we were all growing further apart. Suddenly the band had spilt into two sides. Touring became more difficult since we couldn’t agree on anything. The friendships our band once had were no longer existent. Amos 3:3 says, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction”. In addition to the band turmoil, touring had really taken its toll on us both. We left home at such a young age and missed taking part in normal teenage years. When you own part of a band and are constantly playing, you make sacrifices. Touring has taken its toll on our family members as well. I specifically remember many moments where our parents would break down in tears when we had to leave. It broke my heart. Seeing our siblings grow up so much during our absences was never easy either.

After a lot a prayer and counsel Zac and I came to the decision that it was time to leave the band. We truly feel that God is leading us elsewhere and is going to do great things with us. The intention of this statement was not to belittle or disgrace the rest of the band, it was simply to clarify our decision for leaving and our desire to finally tell you guys the truth. We are still hoping to work out a friendly way to leave our part of Paramore intact with the remaining band members, including Hayley.

We want to thank you guys for all of your love and support over the past 7 years. It’s been an honor creating and playing music for you. If music is what God calls us to in the future, we hope that you all will be a part of it.



All of the glory be to God,

Josh and Zac



i hope this is fake. if it's true, Ridiculous

Josh Farro's Video "the truth"

what happen Paramoooooooooooooooore ?????